Different to before

Traveling with four kids is different to traveling as a couple.

You're surprised aren't you? I can tell.

Tony & I travelled just before falling pregnant with Caleb. Nearly 12 years ago. It was incredible. A couple of months in Europe. So much romance. Seeing sides of one another we hadn't known. Keeping our sense of humor when things went wrong. Loving the sense or adventure about it all. and talking - about everything! Creating shared experiences we will have until we are old and grey.

Then four boys arrived over five and a half years. We did manage an incredible six days together when I was 20 weeks pregnant with our 'terkecil' (little one) in Phuket (Alli & Paul - we will be forever thankful for that gift!). The same Romance. Fun. Adventure. Conversations. Shared Memories.

But I have always loved our holidays with our boys. They are good travelers. Amazing in a car over long distances. Great walkers. Fun to be with. And they humor their mother when she expresses for the 20th time how beautiful the sunset is tonight.

This trip was ambitious though. Four boys, aged 5 - 10. Eight locations over three weeks, on both coasts of America. Planes, trains, buses and automobiles. Early starts. Late finishes. Many kilometers walked. Amazing places seen. It was wonderful.

But also hard work! Planning for two is different to the madness of six. Lots of little people to get ready and shove out of the door each morning. And they had to enjoy it,  because each child reduced our bank balance by about $5000...

So I decided on some family ‘rules’;

Rule # 1: You will be filled with joy at all times, because this is a wonderful privilege. Our luggage costs more than our Pembantu's monthly wage.

Rule # 2:  Packed lunches mean more money for museums. I remember looking enviously at those who bought their lunch when I was young, while we ate the vegemite sandwiches my Mum had made (she did buy a coffee so we could sit in the cafe!). I see the same look in my boys' eyes. Now I understand Mum!

Rule # 3: Notice that we are creating life long memories. Binding us closer as a family. Bind strong.

Rule # 4: Mountain lions and bears are good. They encouraged our boys to walk with us (rather than lagging or running ahead) in Yosemite. Ideally I could bring these creatures home on the plane, as I would like to carry a couple with me at all times when we walk as a family.

Rule # 5:  I love you. If it is possible, I love you even more, when at the age of five, after 18.5 hours of flying (starting at 1:20am), when you ask how many minutes until we get there, and the reply is one hour, you just nod.

Rule # 6: You should be able to walk down a crowded street without kicking or punching one of your brothers. Even in fun. Really you should.

Rule # 7: When one of the boys asks to do something spontaneous, often something simple, do it. It will probably be the highlight of the day.

Rule # 8: It's okay that your mother is too controlling about when you can read, play iPod, draw or sleep. Its because she loves you. And knows our body clocks can be messed up quickly. And that pens get lost in hire cars. And that if she gives you that book, you'll finish that book, and won't have anything for the next day which involves longer travel. Really - she's thought about it!

Rule # 9: If you are in a foreign city, and it is raining, it is fun. There's nothing like the breathless laughter when we have run fast through a storm together.

Rule # 10: Six tired people means some level of irritability. Lets try to be kind, and patient, and understanding. That one is mostly for your mother.

Rule # 11: The only person allowed to deviate from the plan is the person who came up with the plan. Because otherwise we end up running to the boarding gate. That one I know from experience.

Rule # 12: Your mum is going to take way too many photos.

So how does it compare? Less romance. Much more planning. More pressure to get it right - because it could be inconvenient (& expensive!) if we get it wrong. More doing. Less talking. Sleeping with little bodies because we need two (or three!) hotel rooms. More tiring. Okay, exhausting! Is it worth all of the effort?

Yes. It's still adventurous. And fun. And filled with joy because of the privilege, the blessing. Certainly memories that will stay with us until we are old and grey. But this time with our six. Bound together through that.

I'm already planning the next trip.

Gratitude:

161: The privilege of travel.

162: The example of my Mum, though I resented it at the time, of saving money so we could enjoy more together.

163: Shared memories.

164: Mountain lions. Bears. Walking together!

165: Good travellers. Patience.

166: Boys - and their inability to be still!

167: Spontaneous fun.

168: Boys who love to read.

169: Running through the storm, breathless with laughter.

170: Learning to be more patient. Every day.

171: Plans.

172: Photos. So we can remember together.

I owe this one to my Ashton Charlie

When my man had his birthday this year I blogged about him. Because he's pretty fabulous. And birthdays are a great time to acknowledge that and be thankful for special people in your life. I decided then that I should blog for each of my five boys' birthdays. But my little one had celebrated his a couple of weeks prior (and two more are looming), so this one is a catch up...

Where to start about this boy? This sunny boy.

Perhaps with the decision that led us to him? My husband desperate to have another babe. Me: "Are you sure you don't just want a girl, because we WILL have a boy!"

Or maybe his birth? Dramatic. A little acrobatic boy - head next to his foot (try it now?) - cord wedged between said head and foot. My first, my surprising, ceasar.

Perhaps the fact that we changed his middle name when he was two (or was that three?)! That one should probably be left for another blog...

The way I completely 'drowned' after his arrival. Four little boys at home - none at school yet! Those who were able - calling my name, wanting me to read books and get up off the couch where a baby was attached most of the day. All of them producing hideous amounts of washing. Needing to be fed. Nappies sufficient to produce an environmental crisis. Dishes everywhere. I cried. A lot.

My 'perfect', planned, controlled, world crumbled. Fast. Like it had never stood upright. I didn't like it.

Yet this boy, five years later, is pure delight. He gives the best cuddles I know. He talks constantly. He was happy enough to give up anything he should be playing with over the past few years (Thomas? Bob? Wiggles?) if it meant he could do what his three big brothers were doing. At the age of three, when I said "Mmmmm" in response to something he said, he would say "Not 'Mmmmm' Mummy, talking!" None of my other boys had ever noticed I wasn't listening when I did that. The way he sought out adults in the school yard to have a chat. His warmth next to me when we read together. The way he grooves. The night he was laying in bed and said, "I wonder what Beth will wear tomorrow. I think a skirt!" When I kissed him goodnight before heading out, he said "Wow, Mum, you look beautiful! What shoes are you going to wear?"

I love this boy. Ashton Charlie. A gift.

Gratitude:

151: The gift of five years.

152: That he was a boy. Perfect for our family

153: Midwives.

154: The courage to change his name. Late. 

155: For hard times. And what I learnt.

156: For dear friends, who supported me in the years I was 'drowning'.

157: For the opportunity of staying at home with my boys. Five full years with Ash.

158: Realising it is the Lord who is in control. Not me. Quite a shock really.

159: Squeazy cuddles.

160: An insightful boy.

A little over the end of school

Thanks to our January move, I've just finished my second 'end of school' in six months. I didn't do it with as much joy as I probably should have. There, I've admitted it. Sometimes I think the whole thing exists to see how frazzled the Mums will be by the end of it.

Parties, portfolios, pizza, panic birthday parties (for the kids with birthdays during the holidays), plates to bring, (run out of 'p' words), concerts, discos, soccer games, art shows, farewells. Times four. Phew! Plus my final exams for Bahasa. And our 'end of year' was heavily punctuated by gastro, which means we're all pretty weary, and a little bit grumpy. Mostly me.

But when my children finish in exactly one hour, they will have finished 18 months of school without a long break. Quite an effort! They will finally progress to their next year level, after having to wait patiently for an additional six months due to our move. They get to celebrate, by having their first TWO MONTH holiday, as we are following the U.S. system. Oh, and with a trip to the dentist this afternoon. Just the type of Mum I am. 

So I pause, in my final hour of quiet before two months of noise, to reflect on their start to school in Jakarta. Generally it has been pretty fabulous. The boys are happy. The school impressive. It has been hard for my little men to be moved from what was familiar and wonderful in Adelaide. They miss their mates. But I was encouraged when one of my boys had to farewell a classmate here to Cambodia. He told me he might miss this boy as much as his Adelaide friends. I could see how surprised he was.

I'm excited about our break. Mostly because I won't need to set my alarm for 5:30am each day! And of course there is our holiday to America and one to Bali. Then Tony's Mum visits, promptly followed by my sister and her family. Much to look forward to. The two months will fly. Wonder how sane I will be by the end of it...?

But for now, I thought I would gather a few photos from the boys start here... So glad I have another 12 months before we do all of this again!

Indonesia Week

                                                                                    Wacky Hair Day (below)

Go Caleb! New school record for the mile run!

                           Dressing up like the teachers                                                   Star of the Week

                                                        Luke's first belt in Tae Kwon Do

            
                                                      So much fun together at athletics!

         Chinese New Year                                                                                  Field Trip to the Zoo

Gratitude:

141: A great school.

142: Fabulous teachers.

143: My boys, who love to learn.

144: Different experiences.

145: Kids from all over the world, in one place, to learn from.

146: Two months holiday!

147: Visitors to look forward to.

148: My Bahasa course finished - I'm free!

149: Anticipation of much noise.

150: Boys excited about finally going up a grade!

Choosing laughter in the madness

We had all been pretty well since arriving in jakarta, despite the constant threats that we would all get sick with the various gastronomic bugs. Then last Monday happened...

It was CJ first. Vomiting. Temps. Miserable. Off to bed. More vomiting.

LM claimed he felt sick. The wise mother said, " No you don't. It's just unpleasant hearing someone being sick. You're fine!" Yet it appears this was hopeful thinking...

At 11am the middle two started in what was gold medal worthy synchronization! One of them from the top bunk, to the bottom bunk, to the trundle bed, and then a trail from beds to bathroom. A l-o-n-g trail.

Picture the largest amount of vomit you have ever seen being placed in another bathroom sink at the same time. Literally.

My man and I met in the hall. We could not stop laughing. Not even to contain ourselves long enough at that moment to comfort our very unwell boys. It was just too revolting and ridiculous to do anything else. Though I wouldn't have minded popping back into bed and going back to sleep...

So my wonderful husband, who is entirely unable to smell, started cleaning up in one room. I sat with my other boy, the one who hates being sick (probably because he very rarely is). We sat on the floor, him trying not to be sick (again), me convincing him he would feel better if he was. Rubbing his back. Talking in low tones.

And I sat there thinking, this is love.

Right here. This is what it looks like. Trying to coax your son to vomit.

Because if i wasnt here, who would do that for him? Are we able to count the number of children who do not have such a person in their life? I sat there, trying to put a number on it, feeling sad that the tally would have way too many zeros. 

We made it back to bed. Did I mention how wonderful my husband is in these situations?

Then the little one started to roam around the house. Apparently. Have I mentioned I'm a heavy sleeper? I did know about it at 3am when a quantity of vomit was placed by him onto our bedroom floor. Thanks darling, let's get you cleaned up. Another chance to love.

Kind of poetic that it was the correct birth order.

So began a week of sickness. And opportunities to love. Serve.

And above all else, with the Lord's help, keep my sense of humour. Because without it, I'd curl up and cry!

Gratitude:

131: A husband who cannot smell!

132: General good health in Jakarta.

133: Laughter at crazy times.

134: Delirious conversations from LM.

135: A little body, climbing into my lap for a cuddle.

136: Two boys quickly improved.

137: Access to Doctors and medication in a country where some children die because of such illnesses.

138: Time to sit and read a little, because everyone is too sick to do anything.

139: The reminder that these are opportunities to love, not difficulties.

140: Good perspective at these times.