Our expensive child

Luke Miles is 7.

I remember when my waters broke. On the 29th of June. A week early. And the look of absolute horror on my man's face. Followed by the words, "Do you think you can wait?"

You see, on the 1st of July, the government were introducing the 'Baby Bonus', which meant they were willing to throw $3000 our way. But not on the 29th of June they weren't. No sir-ee! Cross my legs I did not. And after my most difficult labour thanks to a crooked head, our third little boy entered the world!

At his birth and beyond, this babe rarely cried. Happy to look around the room and absorb all that was happening. Silent. Content. With big eyes. "Delightful" was a word I used most frequently to describe him. 'Light and Merciful' is the meaning of his name. How apt. 

And he grew, constantly striving after being one of the 'big boys'. Tough being the most accurate word to describe his approach to all things physical. Not a tear during the 15 or so (some rather nasty) vaccinations before we moved overseas. Throwing his tiny frame hard into his brothers' games so that he could be one of them. Earning respect along the way. Especially from his Mum & Dad. The one who could not hold his shorts up due to his distinct lack of a bottom, yet managing to do everything one handed whilst holding his pants with the other.

So tough, yes. Did I mention vague? Oh my! Shirt on inside out, shorts back to front, shoes on the wrong feet, hat on sideways. All at once. Lost goggles, drink bottles, containers, balls, shoes (just one of a pair!), socks, thongs, notices, caps...I really could go on!!!! And hard to gather his attention when he has a non-fiction book or ball in his hand - which is pretty much one hundred percent of the time (except when he is holding his beloved teddy, Spencer). And when you call his name, it takes a little while for this boy to hear and respond, so entrenched is he in his own 'Luke world'. Like when you are kissing him good night, and he says in a far off voice, "Mum, what's 169 times 169?" 

I love the enormous heart this little man has! And fantastic priorities. He loves his brothers with a fierceness I don't see in others. He cries about people not knowing Jesus, because he worries about their eternity. When I ask him to change into better clothes he replies, "But Mum, the bible says we shouldn't worry about what we wear!" He readily gives his money away to a charity an older brother started. He is happy to play with his brother's friends, because the mother of this undemanding son often forgets to organise play dates for him! Must put that on my list...

His smile. The way he tells a story or sprouts the latest learned facts with such enthusiasm that he almost spits at you. Those eyes. Still big at those moments. His laughter, infectious.

So it appears we have forgiven him for the loss of that $3000. 

This son of mine. Joy and blessing beyond measure.

Giving thanks:

- God's timing.

- Contentment in my son. I can learn a lot from him.

- Generosity from my son. That too.

- Godly perspective from a little person.

- A big heart for people to know Jesus.

- An easy baby - every family should have one!

- The familiar sight of half of his bottom - always making me laugh.

- The way he still snuggles on my lap, playing with my hair. 

- His love for reading. Actually it is more about knowledge.

- The way he can't watch a footy game without running out of the room to play himself.

More or Less Encouragement???

I had a blog in mind. Sorted. Organised. But oh how the Lord has challenged me about the content!

You see recently I was grocery shopping and saw a Mum with a three or four year old boy. As he placed an item into the trolley, the Mum exclaimed, "Good job! I'm so proud of you!"

And I thought, really? Sure, great to see that he's a helpful little guy. But "proud" of him? I thought it was a little extreme. Surely not particularly sincere? 

Now before you say it, I KNOW! I have no idea what sort of a morning she had been having with him. Maybe there had been some discipline preceding  the said incident, and she was trying to turn things around. Or maybe this little man had other issues at the time, or in life, that meant he needed enormous amounts of encouragement right then.

At least she is shopping with her child. A rare event in Jakarta. Why bring them to the shops when you can leave them behind with a nanny? Never mind all they learn about colours, maths, food groups, healthy (or not so healthy) food...but I digress.

You know how once you see someone in the supermarket, you may as well strike up a conversation and have coffee afterwards, because you tend to follow one another around for an hour and could probably recite much of what is in their trolley and perhaps even guess at what they are making for dinner? Well, that is what I did with this lady and her son. Pretty sure it was spaghetti bolognese.

And so I noticed, that she didn't say thank you when her fruit and vegetables were weighed (which happens as you choose them in Jakarta - not at the registers). Now before you say it, I KNOW!!!!! Who's to say that I'm not distracted one day and forget? Or that she was thinking about other very important things and just forgot that one time, and I happened to witness it.

But it made me wonder, how are we teaching our kids about what is important? About what we value? Individual effort? Obedience? Taking pride in our actions? Or loving others? Showing gratitude?

Yet I find myself in that terrible conundrum you sometimes find yourself in - you know the one - who's throwing the first stone, take the log out of your own eye... Hhhhmmm.

You see this week I am finding there is more discouragement than encouragement in our home. It was made loud and clear this week through the Bible, a book I am reading, and a message at church - do you think I was supposed to be taking notice? I have been dealing with some character issues, particularly with my older boys. And tough things have needed to be said. But I'm not sure I said them in ways that will build them up. As the adult in the relationship, I have a responsibility to do that.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1

I'm not convinced I am building rather than tearing at the moment. 

So I'm going to leave everyone else alone. 

And focus on my little flock.

Giving thanks:

- Reprimands from the living God.

- Forgiveness.

- Hard conversations with my sons. Chances to grow them into good men.

- Opportunity to think about what I value, but more importantly, to ask if I am actually imparting it?

- New days. The hope that I will do better through Him.

- Plans for one on one, times four.
- Wisdom in the bible - everything I need as a parent. 

- Good teaching, good books.

- All Mum's out there who are doing the best they can.

- My flock. And the gift of shepherding them.

Water... and Life.

Water. I thought a lot about it on our recent holiday. And God. Him too.

You see, He was there at the start.

"Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." (Genesis 1:2).

He's everywhere. Are you seeing Him?


The light mist that only hinted at the waterfall you couldn't see. But you could not ignore the roaring in the distance. It reminded me of God's power, whether we 'feel' it, or acknowledge it. He's still there. He cannot be contained. Nor ignored.

The torrential wall of water you were unable to escape as you ascended towards an awesome waterfall. The stunning rainbows you could glimpse through the wall of water surrounding you. Maybe two if you really look. The times I have been 'drowning'... I knew the beauty of God was there regardless of circumstances. His love available if only I would recognise it.

The way we stood at the top. After a long, long climb. Exhausted. Freezing cold. Watching the water plummet with such might below us. Some of our six invigorated. In awe. Thankful for the experience. Others crying. Saying they didn't want to go back down. Asking why we had to go through this at all.

Just like us. Which one are you?

The vibrancy of the wild flowers beside the rushing rapids. The dichotomy. Beauty there. Danger beside. What do you focus on?

The river which looked peaceful in parts, but surely would have the most incredible current based on the rapids all around. Deceptively still. Like life sometimes. Keeping the calm façade in place, whilst a torrent is raging beneath. Me sometimes.

The lake. Still. Serene. Majestic rock cliffs perfectly reflected. Looking at everything upside down. Is this the perspective we can gain? Looking back at challenging times and seeing some beauty in it? Even glad because of what we learnt? How we've changed? Or is frustration and anger left in the wake?

The waterfall we stood under. Laughing. In awe of the moment. Knowing God was there too. Filled with great joy. Then being reminded He is always there. We just forget to acknowledge it.

As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, my God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

Psalm 42:1-2

He's everywhere.

Look for him today.

Giving thanks:

- That He's always been there. 
- That He's here now.
- Power that cannot be contained.
- Rainbows in the mist.
- An unforgettable walk. 
- Astounding beauty.
- The fact that I will never look at a waterfall without those memories.
- That I shared those moments with my boys.
- The stillness of the lake. 
- Desire to know the same peace when chaos abounds.
- Wildflowers. Just because God put them there.