Thursday, December 15, 2011

Oh so homesick today

I'm sitting here feeling homesick.

Tomorrow night is my Dad's 70th birthday party. I won't be there. I want to be there. 

And as I mope...

My man is in Australia for work. I miss him. And am envious that he is able to drink water from the tap, and eat fruit from the supermarket without scrubbing it clean with detergent. He could even eat a cherry ripe, or go for a run in fresh air.

The boys finish school tomorrow. They are at an international school, and it seems nearly everyone is heading home. Parents and kids are excited about being with family, seeing friends, being around the familiar. My man cannot get holidays. People assume then that family are coming here. But they are not.

Two dear friends have been, or are now on wonderful family holidays. Perhaps we might have gone with them. Or had our own time at the beach. Relaxed. No dengue fever risk. No tummy bugs.

Another friend had a recent health scare in her gorgeous family. I wasn't there to listen, have a cuppa...cry with relief when it was okay. Yet another just bought a new house. I love her old house. One of my boys felt that it was his second home. We won't be back there again. I can't send a meal over as she packs.

And tonight I spent my evening listening to one of my boys 'bore' his friend with details about his mates in Australia. Telling story after story it seems, of his favourite people and times there. Homesick too.


I trust that I am where I am supposed to be. Right now. And that wherever we are in the world now, we are likely to be missing someone. Which really is a blessing. Because there are people whom we love so much. Miss so much. 

I'm not called to be comfortable. Or surrounded by family and friends.

"Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well." 1 Thessalonians 2:8

That is my job here. To show Jesus. To love well. To share my life. 

And so I shed some tears. Which is okay. I can be sad, and also rejoice. Being thankful for the gift of my earthly father, and also my heavenly one.  Especially grateful for purposes that reach beyond human expectations and desires.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful Dad. Love you. Miss you. x

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